SOUL ON FIRE

Did you ever have a Vision or a FIRE in your SOUL that you were meant for MORE??? That there was something deep inside you fighting to get OUT. There is a PASSION in each of us that burns inside for more. Never be afraid to FIGHT for your purpose. If you dont know WHAT your purpose is, fight to find it. Ask your inner desire WHY am I hear, WHAT is my drive, WHERE do I SEE myself in 5 years. If you dont have a plan or a VISION you will FAIL!!! If you dont plan it, map it out, you WILL NOT REACH IT.  I promise you if you MAP it, Dream BOARD it, Vision it with YOUR MIND, what it looks like, where you want to be. LIVE your life. May it be dept, family, weight, job, relationship. WHAT do YOUR Dreams, Hopes and Desires look like 5 years from now???? And Most of all NEVER STOP BELIEVING. Never let someone or something steal that from you, or tell you ITS NOT POSSIBLE. For we are all POSSIBLE and you know what??? I BELIEVE IN EVERY ONE OF YOUR DREAMS I DO <3  NEVER BE AFRAID <3 NO FEAR BABY ~ <3 You from my heart to yours BELIEVE <3 Judie Phillips Lavender

My Story

As we Travel Lifes Journey we all have our OWN Stories. I have traveled from addiction, neglect, depression, low self esteem, family member OD and death, best friend OD and death.

My earliest childhood memory is only 7 I don't know whats back there that I cannot see and yes at times it scares me. But I feel its because I lost my Uncle my Best Friend at age 7 in the 70s due to a drug overdose. I have drug use, alcoholism in my family life as a young child I saw a lot that one should not see. I come to learn more as an adult that I do not even remember.

As I moved to Oregon when I was 11 leaving California was a hard move for me. I was kind of popular but I was over weight then and made fun of there. When I moved here I became pregnant at the age of 15 had my first baby by 16. As times passed I had all three babies by the age of twenty. I took anti-depressants due to I was in a verbally abusive relationship had very low self esteem. When I walked I walked with head bowed for I was ashamed of who I was and had a hard time looking people in the eyes. In my years I have tried drug use in my earlier years and thank god they did not suck me in. I have seen lives lost, and lives ruined, children abandoned just breaks my heart.

As I struggled with weight and was still called names as an adult two years ago as I stepped on that scale and it was 243 I decided to fight back. I did not like what I had seen and it scared the hell out of me. So as I fight to become who I dream to be its not easy I still have struggles. I am human I eat and I love ice cream LOL I have cried tears and I struggle on some days to even Push Play. I feel the changes but the scale and tape fail to give me the pleasure of showing there success. But the point is to NEVER give up on your dreams. You can over come anything if it means as much to you as it does to me.

I love who I am today and I love HOW I feel. Its not yet where I want to be but I fight for it daily

I enjoy your private messages and your support for being real and being me. While improving and taking MY LIFE back I Love to Inspire and Change the Lives around me. For YOU to deserve to believe in YOURSELVES and Your Families do NEED you in their EVERY TOMORROW. Some of you state its to expensive, have you looked at the healthcare bill of someone sick on 5 meds a day with doctors visits weekly?? That is hella expensive. Look at your children will you see them graduate, walk her down the isle, watch them grow into proud adults and bear your grandchildren??? If you dont like what or who you see ITS TIME TO CHANGE IT.

Eyes Wide Open

Remember to keep your DREAMS alive when your eyes are wide open. Not only as you sleep should you seek what you desire but as you awake make the plan to obtain those dreams.  As each day passes we tend to forget or give up on what is important to us or get the attitude that its not obtainable or we dont deserve what we see in our eyes. 

We deserve anything our eyes see, anything our heart skips a beat over. No matter how many trials, triumphs or struggles it takes to get there NEVER GIVE UP .

For my eyes see under 200lbs and 18 months in my body refuses to let me see those numbers. As my body changes I feel the universe changing around me. My clothes are loser my sizes have gone down but that dam tape measure and scale forget to show balance and success in this journey.

As my heart thinks about giving up and maybe it was not mean to be I get so many compliments this week. Four from work "You have lost more weight havent you?", "You look GREAT, you losing more weight arent you?", " I was going to say something to she looks great I can see it to".  As my eyes forget to see my own progress for I see myself in the mirror every day my support around me make me see that its working and anything is possible. I work hard every day and at times feel the struggle is so hard to obtain where I want to be.

But as my eyes are opened I see my daily efforts are working and every little bit of success is still success. Progress in small steps is still PROGRESS. 

I feel I eat healthy, I eat every two hours but food and calorie counting and what and when to eat all stumps my fitness mind. Pushing Play and working out is the EASY Part this food thing is the hard part.  But I will continue to PUSH FORWARD and keep my dreams in site for I have 6 5ks to do this summer and NOTHING is stopping me now.

Down 39 pounds and holding with 40 pounds to go. It will be a whole new me one day but that one day is out there and my heart does desire you. NO giving up, NO giving in. My negitive head trash that we all have will not talk me out of this and I will succeed in my Journey. As I stand strong for my own success I help you in yours. As you see that I never give up I cry the tears cuss the words but NEVER do I stop and fall to my knees and say I cannot do this anymore.  I get more mad and more desire to get where I want to be. It will come to me, watch me for its coming and I want you to be there by my side.

I have the best FAMILY and Support team ever. I love you all thank you for watching and caring and rooting me on.

Keep your Dreams ALIVE.......