Tears in my Eyes falling today

Having a hard time pushing play today. Sitting here with tears rolling down my face wondering WHY it is so hard for some to just shed the weight. I have been at this for almost two years and I have not seen under 200 lbs yet. I eat healthy I eat every two hours I drink my dam water and still 208 today. I hate the scale I dont know why I do it but I feel bloated and fat to and I do not understand. I eat all healthy stuff and I push play all the time. I know its mind over matter and my head trash is getting to me I am just so dam mad it is so hard for me. I know I have come a long way and I am better then I once was but I am only human to and I want results for all my dedication and hard work. There are times I do just want to QUIT cause I am so dam mad!!!!! Love you thank you for listening, getting up to PUSH Play its staring at me and playing the intro over and over.

I know this to shall pass and I will keep pushing forward but for now I am mad and angry that the numbers stay the same. I did 90 days of Insanity and my results were shit. My heart sank and I sit and wonder WHY my fat cells hold on so tight. I work out I eat right I push play I do all that is required of me WHY cant this body show my hard work pays off?

No more tears to cry get your ass up and push play. NO head trash NO self down talk. Its MIND OVER MATTER Baby keep moving. You got this and the future is what you make it. No one can do this but you.

I see so many success stories and the shit just falls off I feel is less time, never compare your story to others I know I know but its hard not to when its almost been two years for me. I see myself in the mirror daily and as I watch my video I still see the FAT. People dont let yourselves get to this place its awful. Take control of your lives and teach your children to take care of there health its all we got!!!

Holding Fast No Matter What

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Its been awhile since I checked in. Finished my Insanity Challenge with disappointment in my own results. Knowing muscle weights more then fat but as women or people we get caught up in the number aspect. We want to see the tape measure change, we want to see the scale change. Even though people are noticing and our clothes are falling off we just want the number to go down. Then the all time high self doubt monster gets in our head, WHY are you doing this?  Its such hard work and is it really working?  We know we did not get here over night and it will take twice as long to get it off.

Then brings to mind WHY did I let myself get to this place?  I know what my goals and dreams are and I know there will be many more tears to shed. I am only human and want fast results as I work so hard for them My husband heard on the radio that a woman can work out 3 hours a day for 3 to 4 days a week and just maintain her weight without loss. A guy can just think about losing weight as my husband and it just falls off. At times I feel god has a really bad sense of humor but I am not giving up or giving in on this journey.  

I started P90X3 on 1/6/14 and continue to focus on results and my goals. I love the thirty minute workout. Along with eating the right food and eating enough food will be the key to this success. Down 39 pounds just wanting to see under the 200 lbs mark my day will come. 

Friends and family have joined me in time in this journey of health and fitness. I joined my fourth 5K for the year and am very excited for Summer to come so we can start but I want to be in much better shape for them then I am now so take your time and focus on your outcome.

Thank you for following, have a wonderful day.....