Viewing this Life with Passion

As we step forth in each life you have to take value in each step we take. Make good decisions and value the people around us. If you surround yourself with takers instead of givers your life will drain. When we surround our lives with passion, success, value and personal givings. Our life will show success value and you will feel that its worth every step we take. Such bad things are out there around us daily and our mind is our worst enemy. It can devalue our dreams our self worth. It can convince us that we are not worth more not able to succeed in our sights set forth.  You are worth every dream dreamt and never doubt the pictures in your eyes that you are worth anything you see out there. Our lives are put in our hands for we are strong enough to live them.  He gave us each this gift for he believes in us.

No matter where you come from our where your childhood took you. If you came from darkness there is still light in your horizon. I know this for I believe in you and I believe in my own self. I to have the demon in my mind that tries to take from me my dreams but I continue to fight daily for I know how bad I want it. I want what future I dream about and I can succeed as you.

Weight loss is no easy task and I post to give you in-site and motivation that anything is possible. Take a breath and know that you do not walk alone. You are amazing and have a lot to offer so get outside your comfort zone and LIVE every day to its fullest. Grab hold of loved ones and tell them how you feel never wait for this life can be taken from you at any moment.

If you died today could you say that YOU LIVED each day like you were a star on fire? I know I cant but you know we have the power to change our thoughts and life process daily. You can wake one day and be know what your life was meant to be and strive to get there. So make today your new day and lets make a pact to be the change we want to see in the world. Treat others how you want to be treated and never let go.

LIVE LOVE LIFE LAUGH~ DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS WATCHING FOR IT ONLY MATTERS WHAT YOU THINK NOT OTHERS. If you Live think of who you could influence.

Be your own Success

Life is what we make it. If you are negative you will attract negative.  Dream outload think about what you want to be not what you FEAR. Be the good in the world spread love and compassion.  Be the person you want to meet. Forgive the people who dont understand you and teach the ones who want to learn. Be the purpose in your families lives show your children how to Live.

Every Tomorrow

It may be a LONG HARD path you see me follow but I know its a permanent change not a temporary change. What I am doing is going to last  A LIFETIME NOT A MINUTE. There are NO miracle cures to Obese, Fat, Overweight. WE ALL want the easy fix the magic PILL but there is NONE. It takes time, dedication and COMMITMENT. Yes I cry YES I YELL yes I want to give up at times but I know that I am WORTH IT. My Family is WORTH it. Yes I took a break but in the shadows I continued to make Healthy Smart choices in my eating. Was still being active but focusing on NEVER GIVING UP. Through this journeys EYES I can see why others DONT DO IT. I can see and feel why others STAY OVERWEIGHT. For this is NOT easy by any means but every tear, struggle, barrier, plateau was worth the battle. Still not under 200 lbs but my body has under gone many changes. I was playing with Ava at the Jump House on trampolines and I was running up those mats and sitting on top which I would of never done. Do I still have struggles YES. I am not where I want to be and its going to take time. I didnt get FAT over night its not going away over night. With smarter choices and commitment anyone can do this. I see my friends on FB going to McD and feeding their kids that crap and it kills me inside every time. Your kids dont know between good and bad. There is so much crap in FAST Food aka FAT FOOD. I love you all and hope that one day I can influence you to take better care of yourselves. Do you want a painful OLD AGE??? Or one you can move in with out medication and doctors. Focus on the prize which is the little ones in your life, family, friends. You are so worth it. I love you

SOUL ON FIRE

Did you ever have a Vision or a FIRE in your SOUL that you were meant for MORE??? That there was something deep inside you fighting to get OUT. There is a PASSION in each of us that burns inside for more. Never be afraid to FIGHT for your purpose. If you dont know WHAT your purpose is, fight to find it. Ask your inner desire WHY am I hear, WHAT is my drive, WHERE do I SEE myself in 5 years. If you dont have a plan or a VISION you will FAIL!!! If you dont plan it, map it out, you WILL NOT REACH IT.  I promise you if you MAP it, Dream BOARD it, Vision it with YOUR MIND, what it looks like, where you want to be. LIVE your life. May it be dept, family, weight, job, relationship. WHAT do YOUR Dreams, Hopes and Desires look like 5 years from now???? And Most of all NEVER STOP BELIEVING. Never let someone or something steal that from you, or tell you ITS NOT POSSIBLE. For we are all POSSIBLE and you know what??? I BELIEVE IN EVERY ONE OF YOUR DREAMS I DO <3  NEVER BE AFRAID <3 NO FEAR BABY ~ <3 You from my heart to yours BELIEVE <3 Judie Phillips Lavender

My Story

As we Travel Lifes Journey we all have our OWN Stories. I have traveled from addiction, neglect, depression, low self esteem, family member OD and death, best friend OD and death.

My earliest childhood memory is only 7 I don't know whats back there that I cannot see and yes at times it scares me. But I feel its because I lost my Uncle my Best Friend at age 7 in the 70s due to a drug overdose. I have drug use, alcoholism in my family life as a young child I saw a lot that one should not see. I come to learn more as an adult that I do not even remember.

As I moved to Oregon when I was 11 leaving California was a hard move for me. I was kind of popular but I was over weight then and made fun of there. When I moved here I became pregnant at the age of 15 had my first baby by 16. As times passed I had all three babies by the age of twenty. I took anti-depressants due to I was in a verbally abusive relationship had very low self esteem. When I walked I walked with head bowed for I was ashamed of who I was and had a hard time looking people in the eyes. In my years I have tried drug use in my earlier years and thank god they did not suck me in. I have seen lives lost, and lives ruined, children abandoned just breaks my heart.

As I struggled with weight and was still called names as an adult two years ago as I stepped on that scale and it was 243 I decided to fight back. I did not like what I had seen and it scared the hell out of me. So as I fight to become who I dream to be its not easy I still have struggles. I am human I eat and I love ice cream LOL I have cried tears and I struggle on some days to even Push Play. I feel the changes but the scale and tape fail to give me the pleasure of showing there success. But the point is to NEVER give up on your dreams. You can over come anything if it means as much to you as it does to me.

I love who I am today and I love HOW I feel. Its not yet where I want to be but I fight for it daily

I enjoy your private messages and your support for being real and being me. While improving and taking MY LIFE back I Love to Inspire and Change the Lives around me. For YOU to deserve to believe in YOURSELVES and Your Families do NEED you in their EVERY TOMORROW. Some of you state its to expensive, have you looked at the healthcare bill of someone sick on 5 meds a day with doctors visits weekly?? That is hella expensive. Look at your children will you see them graduate, walk her down the isle, watch them grow into proud adults and bear your grandchildren??? If you dont like what or who you see ITS TIME TO CHANGE IT.

Eyes Wide Open

Remember to keep your DREAMS alive when your eyes are wide open. Not only as you sleep should you seek what you desire but as you awake make the plan to obtain those dreams.  As each day passes we tend to forget or give up on what is important to us or get the attitude that its not obtainable or we dont deserve what we see in our eyes. 

We deserve anything our eyes see, anything our heart skips a beat over. No matter how many trials, triumphs or struggles it takes to get there NEVER GIVE UP .

For my eyes see under 200lbs and 18 months in my body refuses to let me see those numbers. As my body changes I feel the universe changing around me. My clothes are loser my sizes have gone down but that dam tape measure and scale forget to show balance and success in this journey.

As my heart thinks about giving up and maybe it was not mean to be I get so many compliments this week. Four from work "You have lost more weight havent you?", "You look GREAT, you losing more weight arent you?", " I was going to say something to she looks great I can see it to".  As my eyes forget to see my own progress for I see myself in the mirror every day my support around me make me see that its working and anything is possible. I work hard every day and at times feel the struggle is so hard to obtain where I want to be.

But as my eyes are opened I see my daily efforts are working and every little bit of success is still success. Progress in small steps is still PROGRESS. 

I feel I eat healthy, I eat every two hours but food and calorie counting and what and when to eat all stumps my fitness mind. Pushing Play and working out is the EASY Part this food thing is the hard part.  But I will continue to PUSH FORWARD and keep my dreams in site for I have 6 5ks to do this summer and NOTHING is stopping me now.

Down 39 pounds and holding with 40 pounds to go. It will be a whole new me one day but that one day is out there and my heart does desire you. NO giving up, NO giving in. My negitive head trash that we all have will not talk me out of this and I will succeed in my Journey. As I stand strong for my own success I help you in yours. As you see that I never give up I cry the tears cuss the words but NEVER do I stop and fall to my knees and say I cannot do this anymore.  I get more mad and more desire to get where I want to be. It will come to me, watch me for its coming and I want you to be there by my side.

I have the best FAMILY and Support team ever. I love you all thank you for watching and caring and rooting me on.

Keep your Dreams ALIVE.......

Tears in my Eyes falling today

Having a hard time pushing play today. Sitting here with tears rolling down my face wondering WHY it is so hard for some to just shed the weight. I have been at this for almost two years and I have not seen under 200 lbs yet. I eat healthy I eat every two hours I drink my dam water and still 208 today. I hate the scale I dont know why I do it but I feel bloated and fat to and I do not understand. I eat all healthy stuff and I push play all the time. I know its mind over matter and my head trash is getting to me I am just so dam mad it is so hard for me. I know I have come a long way and I am better then I once was but I am only human to and I want results for all my dedication and hard work. There are times I do just want to QUIT cause I am so dam mad!!!!! Love you thank you for listening, getting up to PUSH Play its staring at me and playing the intro over and over.

I know this to shall pass and I will keep pushing forward but for now I am mad and angry that the numbers stay the same. I did 90 days of Insanity and my results were shit. My heart sank and I sit and wonder WHY my fat cells hold on so tight. I work out I eat right I push play I do all that is required of me WHY cant this body show my hard work pays off?

No more tears to cry get your ass up and push play. NO head trash NO self down talk. Its MIND OVER MATTER Baby keep moving. You got this and the future is what you make it. No one can do this but you.

I see so many success stories and the shit just falls off I feel is less time, never compare your story to others I know I know but its hard not to when its almost been two years for me. I see myself in the mirror daily and as I watch my video I still see the FAT. People dont let yourselves get to this place its awful. Take control of your lives and teach your children to take care of there health its all we got!!!

Holding Fast No Matter What

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Its been awhile since I checked in. Finished my Insanity Challenge with disappointment in my own results. Knowing muscle weights more then fat but as women or people we get caught up in the number aspect. We want to see the tape measure change, we want to see the scale change. Even though people are noticing and our clothes are falling off we just want the number to go down. Then the all time high self doubt monster gets in our head, WHY are you doing this?  Its such hard work and is it really working?  We know we did not get here over night and it will take twice as long to get it off.

Then brings to mind WHY did I let myself get to this place?  I know what my goals and dreams are and I know there will be many more tears to shed. I am only human and want fast results as I work so hard for them My husband heard on the radio that a woman can work out 3 hours a day for 3 to 4 days a week and just maintain her weight without loss. A guy can just think about losing weight as my husband and it just falls off. At times I feel god has a really bad sense of humor but I am not giving up or giving in on this journey.  

I started P90X3 on 1/6/14 and continue to focus on results and my goals. I love the thirty minute workout. Along with eating the right food and eating enough food will be the key to this success. Down 39 pounds just wanting to see under the 200 lbs mark my day will come. 

Friends and family have joined me in time in this journey of health and fitness. I joined my fourth 5K for the year and am very excited for Summer to come so we can start but I want to be in much better shape for them then I am now so take your time and focus on your outcome.

Thank you for following, have a wonderful day.....